Memoirs of a Potty Training Mama
My
sweet baby girl, about to turn 2 this Saturday, is kissing diapers good-bye.
I’m only on the 2nd day of this interesting roller coaster, but,
from what I’ve experienced in the last 36 hours, I can tell this is something I
gotta keep a record of for my own benefit and for some other poor, sweet mamas
out there. So, here goes…
Day 1: I woke up – excited, anxious
and resolved to begin. I had told Mariah the day before that she’s “not going
to wear diapers anymore, but she’s going to go peepee on the potty. Yay!” I’d
purchased the teeniest panties out there and had them all washed and raring to
go. I’d gotten lots of advice from one of my Big Sister Mamas (every girl needs them in her life) and had chosen
this day to begin. I’ll list her tips (and mine) at the bottom in case any of
you want to choose the same route I did. Anyway, I thought I was prepared for
what I’d be up against but that was kind of a pipe dream. By noon, she had
already wet 6 pairs of panties, and had only been up since 8am! I had cleaned
up, stepped in (and crawled in) more pee than I’d known could come out of her
sweet little productive body. I’d gotten pee dripping down my leg from carrying
her to the potty, on my shorts from sitting her on my leg only to discover yet
another accident, and on my socks (it was only after lunch that I realized slippers were in order). As you can
imagine, I was frustrated, sad, doubtful, confused, exhausted, discouraged,
and…did I say frustrated? I was lucky
enough to have the very BSM who’d given me the advice at my house for a few
hours that day. She saved my life!!! But even with her
there, all of those feelings still felt like more than I could bear. I learned
that I needed to redefine the “win.” My expectations/goals for that day changed
to:
(a) her becoming uncomfortable with
peeing in her panties
(she would get a worried/sad look on her face and come running to me when it
happened)
(b) lots of pee on the floor (that way, I was not surprised
and frustrated when it happened)
(c) her getting familiar with being
on the potty
For
this day, and the next few, I learned that she’s just beginning to know what it
feels like before you have to go pee, what it feels like to actually go pee
into the potty and how to control her muscles so she can hold it or let it go.
Another hot tip was that I wash out her panties in hot water in the sink. That
helped a ton since I don’t have a washer/dryer and I would’ve needed about 20
pair of underwear that first day. The second half of Day 1 was a bit less stressful,
but still exhausting, confusing and difficult. God, in His infinite wisdom and
love, led me to a perfect scripture:
“Therefore we do not lose
heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed
day by day. For our light
and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs
them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but
on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is
eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Day 2: I woke up with very different
expectations. I sensed that my mindset would make a huuuuge difference in my
day. After reading all of 2 Corinthians 4, I prayed and was ready. God helped
me to think about and connect with what is most important: love. I want Mariah
to feel loved by me during this whole process. If she gets the potty training
thing down quickly, but feels pressured and sad, it’s not worth it. But, if it
takes a few weeks to get it down and she has fun learning, that’s a great gift
I can give her!! My mom always made learning fun. That meant so much to me, and
I’ll never forget that. Well, I’m happy to tell you that the difference between
Days 1 & 2 was unbelievable!! We had so much fun, dancing, laughing, peeing
and cleaning it up. My expectations for that day were the same as the day
before. I also kept trying to get her to practice sitting on the potty (whether
she had to go or not) and just say (whether she had to or not) “I have to go
potty!” There was a great youtube clip that helped with this. Just type those
words and you’ll find it. On this day, she pooped on the potty for the first
time. She showed a lot of anxiety when it came to this. She was already sitting
on the potty and she kept saying she needed to caca. She was nervous and I kept
saying “you can do it,” just to help her calm down. Eventually she went. I
celebrated a bunch and sang and danced. We cleaned her up and got her treat at
which point she promptly peed all over her bedroom floor. I think she didn’t
know how to do both in the potty at the same sitting. I fell for this one on
Day 3 as well. Today is Day 4, so hopefully I’ll be able to help her with this
if it comes up (or comes out) again. J
Day 3: I prayed about my expectations
and tried to set them in a good place. She had gone 2 days without going potty
in her bed during nap and overnight. It was amazing and unexpected! Anyway, I
was feeling hopeful since I had my friends praying, and kept sharing my heart
about the process as it happened. However, about midday, I felt the frustration
coming back. She did the poop and pee/ding-dong-ditch thing and I was baffled.
Plus I was feeling like she should be getting more of a hold (no pun intended)
on her bladder control. I was just plain wrong!
When
she went down for her nap, I had some more time with God. He listened to my cry
(literally) and heard my heart out. I needed to share everything I was feeling.
Then He calmed the storms inside. He helped me to see that if I knew exactly
all that would happen, and how long it would take for her to get potty trained,
I would be more at peace and wouldn’t struggle with hope. ”But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes
for what they already have? But if we hope for what we
do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” Romans 8:24-25
That
helped me to decide to put my trust in Him- that though I don’t know the how or
when, I trust Him to bring it. EVERYTHING IS SPIRITUAL. This is my
motto of life. Though potty training seems like some important part of
child-rearing and parent training, it’s much heavier on the parent training part than I knew. I
don’t always trust God. And when I don’t, I’m consumed with fear, anxiety and
hopelessness. But when I choose to believe Him and believe in Him, peace overtakes the storm. He also helped me to reset my
expectations and remind myself that Mariah feeling loved by me was most important.
I reread my 2 Corinthians 4 scripture and was ready to be in the fight again. The
rest of the day felt like cake!!!
Day 4: About midday today, I had a
turning point moment with God. As she was still having multiple accidents
throughout the day, I had to get deeply honest and assess what I was doing. For
the first time, I had to really think about the possibility that she may not be
ready. I didn’t want to face this before, as I was ready. But as God walked me through my heart about it, I was
able to let go. Why do you want her potty
trained? I think she’s ready, I don’t want to buy so many diapers, and I’d
love for her to move to this next stage of life. Do you want that even if she’s not ready? Oh…well…no. I don’t want
to push her in a way that is hurtful just so I can get what I want. OK, then. Keep riding out the week you
committed to potty training and you’ll know then. I realized I do love my
daughter so much. And I know there will be many times in life where I will have
to be willing to humbly assess whether what I am leading her to do is for her
benefit or for mine. This was the first time God so clearly led me through one
of them. I’m happy that this time, I listened to Him, and I pray that that will
be my choice in the future.
* * *
Day 24: We are in the Promised Land!!
Tehe…it doesn’t mean there are no accidents. I’m going to consider that we’re
in potty training for at least the next few months. But, now she hardly ever has
an accident, and if she does, it’s because I forgot to take her to the potty
for more than an hour. So she gets it – hooray!!! In the words of Commander
Peter Quincy Taggart (Galaxy Quest), “Never give up- never surrender!!”
Potty Training Tips from my BSM and mine added:
- Pick
a week where you have nothing going on and plan to not leave the house.
This means the meals are planned (I planned super easy ones that week) and
the food is in the fridge (this includes a fun treat such as chocolate teddy
grahams, flavored mini-rice cakes or fruit snacks for potty rewards; I
also did extra special treats for pooping on the potty since that was such
a hard thing for her). Prep your sweetie a few days before that “We’re not
going to wear diapers anymore, we’re going to go peepee in the potty.
Yaaaay!” I kept saying this to build up excitement! I also made a big deal
of setting up the potty and let her pick out Dora and Elmo diapers. 12 is
a good amount to start with, but you can do with less if you like.
- The
first morning, throw away her diaper and have her say “Bye-Bye Diapers!”
Put panties on; give her milk and then sit her on the potty 15-20 minutes after
she finishes it (time varies). If she goes, she gets a reward. If not, try
again 5-10 minutes later.
- If
she goes in the potty- reward. If she goes in her panties, tell her very
sweetly and without condemnation or
frustration, “We don’t go peepee on Dora, yucky!” Have her clean
herself with a wet wipe and sit on the potty to get it all out (this is
often 2-5 minutes in the beginning). Then have her clean up the peepee on
the floor wherever it landed. Of course you’ll have to finish the job.
- Give
her liquids so that she gets lots of times to practice. However, avoid
giving her food or drink within 2 hours (if you can) of going to bed. For
me, it looked like this.
- 8:30 – milk
- 9:30 – breakfast
- 12 – milk & lunch
- 2 – naptime
- 5:30 – dinner and milk
- 7:15 – bedtime
- The
first 2 days, it seemed she would pee a little every 15 minutes or so. I
would often sit her on the potty for 5 minutes and after she got off, I’d
set the timer for 10-15 minutes. Then we’d go again. She didn’t like it
and would sometimes whine or cry. I’d just reassure her and tell her
“let’s practice, you can do it!” I’d make a big deal every time she went
and make no issue if she didn’t go.
- Don’t
be afraid to text friends all throughout the process; ask for prayer and
confess any sins or frustrations. PRAY A LOT!
- Ask
someone to be there with you for a few hours on the first day, for moral
support
- Write
down the times your munchkin eats, drinks, pees & poops for the 1st
three days. It’ll really help you with planning when to put him/her on the
seat in the future.
- Get
books from the library in the weeks leading up and watch lots of youtube
clips and TV clips about pottying (Daniel Tiger, Elmo; Youtube: “Go Potty
Go,” “I Have to go Potty” etc). I filled the potty training days with
watching these things to keep it fresh on her mind.
- Make
sure you have lots of fun together playing, dancing etc (and avoid doing
anything that takes all of your focus away for long periods of time). I
had many moments of dropping everything and running her to the potty.
- Set
your expectations at cleaning up tons of pee (and poop) for a week. If
s/he gets it faster, you’ll be pleasantly surprised! Don’t be afraid to
throw away pooped-in underpants.
- I
expected one week of potty training. I would encourage any potty training
parent to think of it as 2 full weeks of boot camp training. After that,
accidents will probably be few and far between.
If you’re about to embark on
this journey, be encouraged. It’s exciting on the other side… You
and your little one CAN DO IT!!!
So sweet! LOVE IT!
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